Funny Jokes
The bachelor's diet
This is funny joke calls ' The bachelor's diet ' from category Food Jokes.
|Bachelor's DietMONDAY:BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maaloxDINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------TUESDAY: BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslawLUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------WEDNESDAY:BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's LUNCH - Rolaids and a cokeDINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps --------------------------------------------------------------------------------THURSDAY:BREAKFAST - Order out for pizzaLUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------FRIDAY:BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------SATURDAY:BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.LUNCH - DittoDINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------SUNDAY:BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie. LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.
Funny Jokes
You are in section funny jokes.
Categories of funny jokes
- Animal Jokes
- Animal World
- April Fools Jokes
- At Work
- Aviation Jokes
- Bar Jokes
- Blonde Jokes
- Blonds
- Business Jokes
- Camping Jokes
- Celebrities
- Children
- Christmas Jokes
- Clean Jokes
- Comedian Jokes
- Common Jokes
- Computer Jokes
- Computers
- Computing Jokes
- Dirty Jokes
- Doctor Jokes
- Drunks
- Dumb Jokes
- Elderly
- Elderly Jokes
- Ethnic
- Ethnical Jokes
- Farming Jokes
- Festival Jokes
- Food Jokes
- Foreigners
- Free Jokes
- Funny Jokes
- Gender Jokes
- Golf Jokes
- Instrument Jokes
- Irish Jokes
- Job Office Jokes
- Kids Jokes
- Language Jokes
- Lawyer Jokes
- Legal
- Marriage Jokes
- Medicine
- Men
- Men Jokes
- Military Jokes
- Miscellaneous
- Mixed Jokes
- Mom Dad Jokes
- Other Jokes
- Ouch
- Police Jokes
- Political Jokes
- Politics
- Practical Jokes
- Real Jokes
- Red Indian Jokes
- Redneck Jokes
- Relationships
- Religion
- School
- Science
- Sex
- Sex Jokes
- Situations
- Sport Jokes
- Sports
- Stats Math Jokes
- Travel
- Travel Jokes
- War
- Women
- Women Jokes
- Yo Mama Jokes